


Rewrite this Pain

by 0bviousLeigh



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Kidnapping, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, children fighting in a war, this series is actually terrible when you think about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-28 00:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10058375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0bviousLeigh/pseuds/0bviousLeigh
Summary: Yuri never expected to be taken alive. He always thought he would be carded before he was captured. /In which Yuri gets captured by the Resistance/





	1. seeping out through the skin

**Author's Note:**

> Title and chapter titles inspired by the song "Higher" by The Naked and Famous
> 
> I've seen so many stories about Yuya, Yuto, and Yugo being captured by Academia, so I just got to wondering...what if Yuri got captured by the Resistance?
> 
> This does not follow the show's canon past episode like, 8 or something, I rewrote a lot of stuff. You'll see as it goes on but the big thing is there's no Zarc.

When Yuri awakens, he’s lying in a bare room, atop an almost comically large bed. His hands are bound in front of him by high-tech cuffs, two bracelets held together by an electromagnetic connection at the wrists. He’s seen such handcuffs before, he has no idea how a bunch of child rebels got their hands on a pair.

Yuri never expected to be taken alive. He always thought he would be carded before he was captured. He had been dueling his one look alike, the annoying one on the bike, when he felt a sudden pain in his neck. He remembers that he touched his neck and felt a dart, and then everything went dark.

Yuri sits up and his head spins. Whatever they drugged him with, it’s good. He tries to leave the bed and his wrists jerk backwards on an invisible tether. Yuri sees sensors connected to the corners of the bed. The cuffs must be linked to them, like the duel tethers he’s seen used in the XYZ dimension.

He looks down at himself. He’s no longer wearing his uniform, instead he’s been dressed in blue pajamas, and his deck is gone. That means his dragon is gone as well. Yuri growls under his breath. These people will pay for taking Starve Venom. But before he can make them pay, he’s got to have a plan of escape. There are no windows, and there is one door leading out, and another door leading to a small room. Yuri cranes his neck and sees a toilet and a sink in the room, but no window or mirror. There’s nothing within his reach that he can use as a weapon.

Yuri places a hand over his neck where the dart stabbed him. It was an impressive technique, albeit a dirty trick. And how did they get him here, wherever here is, without being followed? Yuri estimates that, judging by his continued disoriented state, the drug they knocked him out with was potent, and he’s been out for several hours. Or perhaps they’ve continually drugged him. But why allow him to wake up at all? Perhaps they’re preparing for an interrogation. Yuri has to laugh at that thought. Good luck to them, they’ll never get anything out of him. They can starve him, they can torture him, Yuri knows how to survive without food, and pain has no effect on him. He didn’t become Academia’s most feared soldier without good reason.

The door opens and Yuri automatically thinks he should make a run for it, and he’s halfway off the bed before his wrists are jerked back. Yuri knows the boy who enters—he’s Shun Kurosaki, brother of Ruri Kurosaki, who’s abduction Yuri oversaw himself.

Yuri sneers. “You don’t look like her at all.”

Kurosaki’s jaw tenses. He’s carrying plastic bowl, and he sets it down on the end of the bed. Yuri glances at it, and he’s utterly taken aback.

Food. Shun Kurosaki has brought him…food. Some sort of vegetable and rice dish, it looks like.

Kurosaki takes the plastic spoon and scoops a spoonful of the food into his own mouth. He makes a show of chewing and swallowing, and then standing with his arms folded at the foot of the bed.

“It’s not drugged,” Kurosaki says.

Yuri doesn’t answer. What the hell is the meaning of this?

Kurosaki leaves, and Yuri stares at the food. His head begins to clear, but he’s confused. These people are feeding him? Clearly they have no idea of what to do with a prisoner of war. Or, this is meant to be some kind of peace offering. Do they think they can bring Yuri around to their cause? They’re even more pitiful than Yuri thought. He can’t believe the Professor was worried about these rebels. They can’t even properly threaten an enemy soldier.

Yuri only moves in the direction of the food so he can examine the bowl and spoon. He entertains the idea of using one or both of those items as a weapon, but dismisses it. Both are far too flimsy to be of any use, in fact these things must have been made on purpose so that they would be useless for much of anything. Which only confuses Yuri more. The rebels don’t underestimate his ability to turn everyday objects into weapons, so they go to the trouble of finding something useless to him that they can use to feed him?

Perhaps these people are cleverer than Yuri gave them credit for. What is their plan for him?

Ah, maybe he’s a bargaining chip. Perhaps they want to make a deal with the Professor. Yuri wonders if it would work. Would the Professor trade Yuri? He’s an incarnation of Chaos, he’s valuable to the professor, but no more valuable than Ruri Kurosaki, Serena, Rin, and Yuzu Hiiragi, incarnations of Creation. The Professor would never trade one of them for Yuri, and there’s no one more valuable than them in the prisons of Academia.

The door opens and Kurosaki reenters, frowning at Yuri’s untouched bowl, but he takes it away without comment.

Yuri begins counting the seconds in his head, at the same time trying to figure what it is the Resistance means by taking him, holding him hostage, and treating him…humanely. He’s stumped, and it’s not a feeling he enjoys. He counts off two hours before the doors reopen and a familiar face enters the room.

Yuya Sakaki, son of the Professor’s old friend Yusho Sakaki, and the least likely boy to be an incarnation of chaos. Yuri has heard about this boy, the one who thinks he can save the world with smiles. Yuri has to bite back a devilish grin. Manipulating this child will be too easy.

“Hi, Yuri,” Yuya says. “I’m—”

“I know who you are,” Yuri says, keeping his tone even.

Yuya nods. “I kind of figured as much.” He steps into the room and closes the door.

Yuri inches back on the bed. “What is it you want from me?” He asks, putting just a touch of anxiousness in his tone.

“I just want to talk,” Yuya says, his eyes wide an earnest. “Shun told me you didn’t eat. What food do you like? I can bring you something else.”

Yuri damn near laughs. This will be too easy. “I don’t want food,” he snaps, “I don’t want anything from you.”

Yuya looks sad. “I saw that coming. Yuri, nobody here wants to hurt you.”

At that, Yuri can’t hold back an incredulous laugh. “I kidnapped Ruri Kurosaki,” he taunts.

Yuya shakes his head. “No you didn’t.”

At that, Yuri is genuinely puzzled. Of course he did, Ruri Kurosaki is in Academia’s prisons as they speak.

The door opens again and Yuri gasps before he can help himself. Ruri Kurosaki waltzes into the room, and she hands Yuya a file. She locks on to Yuri’s incredulous gaze, then leaves.

Yuya opens the file. “You were a cute kid,” he says.

Yuri jumps and looks at the file in Yuya’s hands. It has his name on it. All thoughts of manipulating Yuya Sakaki fly out of his head. “Where did you get that?” He snaps.

“Ruri stole it when she infiltrated Academia,” Yuya says calmly.

“She didn’t infiltrate anything!” Yuri hisses. “We took her. I don’t know what you think you’ve got but—”

“Yuri, no last name,” Yuya reads. “Discovered in an orphanage. Taken into Leo Akaba’s personal headquarters for training. And then it lists all the ways he manipulated you.” Yuya shakes his head. “God, you poor thing. He let you eat too much on purpose and then came in after you were sick to feed you. He starved you for weeks. Jeez, no wonder you think you don’t want to eat.”

“SHUT UP!” Yuri screeches.

Yuya closes the file and looks up at Yuri. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Most of it is lies, but a lot of it reveals some bits of truth. You know what Akaba did to you is wrong, don’t you? It wasn’t your fault, none of it was your fault.”

“None of what?” Yuri demands. Yuya is not making any sense whatsoever.

“The carnage,” Yuya says gently. “You’re not a monster. Akaba was wrong about you, about all of us.” He reaches for Yuri, and Yuri kicks his hand away.

“What the hell are you talking about? What do you want from me?”

“I want you to get better,” Yuya says.

Better? Better from what?

“We’ll help you,” Yuya continues. “The first thing we need to do is get you to gain some weight. The doctors said your BMI is lower than it should be. After that, we’ll get you started on medications. Once we’re sure you’re not a danger to yourself or others, maybe we can take the cuffs off. As it stands, we’ll disable the locking system for two minutes every five hours so you can use the bathroom. If you make a move to harm yourself, we’ll lock the cuffs again right away. Hopefully, we can get you into therapy in a few weeks.”

Medication? Therapy?

“Oh my god,” Yuri says. “You think you can save me.”  He starts to laugh. He’s hysterical. He laughs so hard he damn near cries.

“You’re…an idiot,” Yuri gasps, “I can’t believe this, this is fucking incredible…” he smiles at Yuya, all teeth. “You thought I needed rescuing. Poor little Yuri, under the thumb of the big bad Professor. A prince in a tower. Did you think he brainwashed me?”

Yuri leans forward, getting as close to Yuya as he can before he feels a tug on the cuffs. “Let me tell you something,” Yuri breathes, “The Professor doesn’t own me. I don’t take orders from him. Oh sure, I let him think that I do, but he’s nothing to me. Ask me whatever you want about him, go on. I don’t care if he falls, if Academia falls. I have no loyalty to them.” Yuri’s lip curls in a sneer. “You think you can heal me? I don’t need healing. I am chaos, I was made to rule the world and every pathetic being in it. No one can stop me, not even you. My missing piece.” Yuri laughs. “Bullshit. I don’t need you, or those other two. You think you’ve got me now but you have no idea what I’m capable of, how long I can hold out. You’re pathetic. I’d feel sorry for you if I was capable of it.”

“You are capable of it,” Yuya says. He reaches into his pocket and takes out a card. “No one knows it better than your dragon.”

Yuri’s blood freezes in his veins as he looks at Starve Venom. His dragon, held in Yuya’s hands. Yuri can feel his dragon’s presence, and it’s changed. It’s no longer on his side.

Fury swallows Yuri whole. “What did you do it?” He demands.

“I just talked to it. I helped it.”

“LIAR!” Yuri screeches, flinging himself at Yuya. The tethers yank him back, and he struggles against the invisible hold. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DRAGON?”

Yuya stands. “I’ve upset you,” he says. “I didn’t mean to. I just meant to show you that you can be helped.”

Yuri laughs again. “You piece of shit,” he spits. “Don’t think this means anything. You haven’t won. You’ll never win. I’ll never give in to you!”

Yuri’s threats only seem to make Yuya sad. He shakes his head, and walks out of the room.

“GET BACK HERE WITH MY DRAGON!” Yuri screeches, but he’s ignored. Yuya leaves, and Yuri is left to wonder just how much he really knows about that child.

 

The truth is, Yuri knew what he was long before Leo Akaba took him out of the orphanage. He knew because his dragon told him. Yuri had owned that card for as long as he could remember, and he always knew that Starve Venom was all he needed. When the other kids bullied him, when adoptive parents overlooked him, when adults ignored his most basic needs, Yuri cradled his dragon in his hands and it whispered to him that he was more powerful than he could imagine. Once, someone tried to take the card. Yuri didn’t remember what he did to the child who tried to take it, just that there had been blood, and screaming, and nobody messed with the card after that.

Yuri and his dragon had won more battles together than Yuri could count. It was the dragon who had urged Yuri not to trust Leo Akaba, for all his pretty words and promises of food had tempted Yuri. Starve Venom had been right, Leo Akaba wanted nothing more than to use Yuri to take over the dimensions. So Yuri used Leo Akaba right back. He let Akaba carve a path of destruction across the dimensions, track down the incarnations of Creation who could potentially stop the incarnations of destruction. Yuri could do one thing perfectly, and that was sell a lie. Leo Akaba trusted that he had Yuri completely under control. But no one could control chaos. Yuri had been poisoning Akaba for month now, slowly weakening him. Yuri had been close to killing Akaba when he was captured. Now he has no doubt that Akaba will heal from the poison. Oh well, Yuri can just start again when he gets out of here.

But now, there’s a wrench in the plan. Yuri doesn’t have his dragon anymore. He can’t do this without Starve Venom. He must be the biggest fool in the universe for having depended on the dragon. Yuri should never have put his trust in anything other than himself. But the loss is more painful than Yuri could have imagined. He thought he was beyond feeling any kind of hurt. But he was wrong. He thought that the rebels could do nothing to break him. He was wrong. They took his dragon, not just physically, but spiritually. They turned Starve Venom against him, and it hurts.

And they got Ruri Kurosaki back. How can that be? No one has ever escaped Academia. Yuri knows that the Professor has been working on a brainwashing technique. Did he let them take Ruri? That would make sense. But why allow her to get Yuri’s file? Maybe that hadn’t been part of it. Or maybe the Professor thought it would break Yuri. Maybe Akaba wanted the Resistance to get their hands on him, break him so that it would be even easier for him to manipulate Yuri when Academia’s forces burst in to rescue him.

Yes, that must have been it. Yuri will just have to hold out until Akaba sees fit to come get him. But there was still the issue of his dragon. He’ll never be able to battle with Starve Venom again.

Well, until Yuri can figure out what to do, he’s confronted with the issue of the people who are, inexplicably, trying to make him eat.

Shun Kurosaki returns, bringing more food. He brings Yuri three meals, and each time Yuri refuses to even touch the plate offered to him. For the fifth meal, Shun sits in the room, staring Yuri down as he refuses to even look at the food.

After that failed attempt, someone else gives it a try. The most annoying counterpart, Yugo, is even more annoying with a food dish in his hands.

“There’s pretty good seasoning on this,” he says, poking at the food with a fork. “I mean, if you don’t want it, I’ll eat it. You don’t want to give your food to me, do you?”

After several minutes of his yammering, Yuri kicks the food dish and sends it flying across the room. He smirks when Yugo scolds him for it.

Yuto tries next, which surprises Yuri. He drags a chair into the room and places it next to the bed. Does he think he looks cool, straddling a backwards chair with his arms folded over the back of it? Yuri breaks his silence to taunt Yuto.

“You’re the most pathetic out of all of them. I heard you screaming for Ruri when she was taken.”

But it backfires. “I guess my acting is pretty good then,” Yuto says calmly, his chin on his arms.

Yuri sneers. “Do you honestly think Leo Akaba would let Ruri get away unharmed?” He probably shouldn’t say that, but he can’t stand how smug everyone is about Ruri.

“Leo Akaba didn’t let her do anything,” Yuto says firmly. “No one controls Ruri. We prepared for the brainwashing.”

Yuri tries not to let his shock show. Yuto continues, “We have people on the inside.”

“What are you on about?” Yuri scoffs.

Yuto shakes his head. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Guess I’ll have to show you.”

The next time someone enters to bring food, Yuri can’t contain his surprise.

“Of all the people I never expected to double-cross Akaba,” he says as Serena enters. She was Akaba’s pride and joy—an incarnation of Creation, one he raised from an infant, getting his hands on her before the resistance could. Yuri was always disgusted by her, because she looked at Akaba with adoration in her eyes. Like he was her real father.

“He doesn’t care for anyone but himself,” Serena says.

Yuri rolls his eyes. “Of course not. But you cared for him.”

Serena flinches. “I did,” she admits. “But I don’t anymore.”

“Oh, boo-hoo,” Yuri says. “So what, you released Ruri to get revenge on him?”

“No,” Serena says. “My revenge was leaking all his research to the Resistance. Including the research about you. He was going to kill you.”

At that, Yuri can’t hold back. “I KNOW!” He screams. “I knew it all along! God, how weak do you think I am? Do you honestly think I would fall to him?”

Serena looks…devastated. “What is wrong with you?” She asks.

Yuri doesn’t dignify that with a response. Why are these people so obsessed with finding something wrong with him?

Serena tries to feed Yuri. She actually holds the food to his mouth and presses it against his lips. Yuri keeps him mouth closed, conveying all his disbelief with his eyes.

But she’s not the last to try that. As Yuri refuses to even drink water, the children who are trying to save him grow desperate. Yuya comes back. He talks to Yuri in a tone of voice more suited to talking down a frightened dog. He, too, holds food to Yuri’s mouth, and Yuri turns his head away. Yuto tries again as well, and Yuri gets another perfect opportunity to kick the plate of food away.

They’ve brought him meals fifteen times, so Yuri estimates it must have been five days. He barely sleeps, his head spinning with theories as to how he ended up here. Not just physically, here, but in this situation. Five days in enemy hands, probably closer to six since he was unconscious for some period of time. He can’t fathom what’s taking Akaba so long to retrieve him. Surely, he hasn’t lost track of Yuri. Surely, he knows that getting Yuri from this place means he could destroy the Resistance at the same time. Their best fighters seem to be here. Yuri would ask his captors where ‘here’ is, but he knows if he opens his mouth all that will happen is they’ll shove food in it.

Yuya comes with the sixteenth meal. Yuri refuses to look at him. Yuya kneels beside the bed.

“This can’t go on,” he says quietly. “They’re talking about forcing you to eat, Yuri. I don’t want that, do you?”

Yuri doesn’t even glance at Yuya.

The door bangs open. “This is getting ridiculous,” Shun says.

“Let me handle this,” Yuya says. “I said I could do this.”

This catches Yuri’s attention. They’re fighting? There’s discord in the ranks. What can he do with that information, if he can do anything at all?

“Stop babying him,” Shun snaps. “Yuri, open your goddamn mouth.”

Yuri cocks an eyebrow. He silently dares Shun to make him.

Shun darts forward and seizes Yuri’s jaw in his hand. Yuri tumbles back on the bed, and he claws at Shun’s arm as best he can with his wrists held together, but Shun either doesn’t feel it or doesn’t care. He squeezes Yuri’s jaw tightly. Yuri tries to ignore it, but there are some bodily reactions one simply can’t control. He opens his mouth, and Shun shoves something into it, then he claps his hand over Yuri’s mouth.

“Now swallow it,” Shun commands. His eyes hold no pity. “Or do I need to shove a tube down your throat and pour your food into it?”

Yuri twists his head out from under Shun’s hand and spits the food in his face. “Do it,” he snarls. “Go on.” He laughs. “Force me! Tie me down and force me! Take away my autonomy, my control.” Yuri leans up into Shun’s face. “Show me what the fearsome Resistance is capable of.”

Yuya pulls Shun away from Yuri. “The fuck, Shun?!” He demands.

“He is dying!” Shun screams, pointing at Yuri. “You’re babying him and he is wasting away. He’s going to die, Yuya!”

“Oh, what a tragedy,” Yuri says, rolling his eyes.

Shun and Yuya look at him in shock.

“Don’t you care at all?” Shun demands.

“Akaba won’t let me die,” Yuri spits. He’s gone too long without food and sleep, he has no control over what he’s saying. “Don’t you know that by taking me here, you’ve lead him right to this place? He’s coming, he’s going to card you all. The Resistance is as good as crushed.”

Shun looks at Yuya. “You didn’t tell him?”

Yuya holds out his hands. “I didn’t want to overwhelm him.”

Shun sighs. “We took a tracker out of your arm.”

Yuya closes his eyes and pinches his nose. “Nobody listens to me,” he says quietly.

Yuri stares at Shun. “What did you say?” He demands.

Shun grabs Yuri’s arm and pulls up his sleeve, showing a healed incision. “We took it out before we brought you here. Akaba has no idea where you are. He’s not coming.”

Yuri jerks his arm back. “How did you find it?” He demands.

Yuya looks shocked. “You knew it was there?”

“I’m not an idiot, of course I knew,” Yuri snaps. “I just…” he didn’t know they knew.

Yuya looks horrified. “Oh, god,” he says quietly. “And you accuse us of taking away your autonomy. Do you even know what Akaba did to you?”

“I know everything,” Yuri says.

Shun throws up his hands. “Okay. That’s it. I’m calling the doctor.” He walks out of the room and slams the door.

Yuri looks at Yuya. He’s got tears in his eyes.

“What the fuck are you crying about?” Yuri demands.

Yuya gulps. “Yuri…you don’t get it. I really, truly, want to help you.”

“Help me what?!” Yuri cries before he can stop himself.

“Help you get better,” Yuya says. He sits and takes Yuri’s hands in his own. “I want you to love yourself. I want you to see that the world isn’t all bad. I want you to be your own person. Don’t you see what’s happened to you? You’re depressed. You have been for a long time. You’re not a monster, you’re just a sick teenager who’s been manipulated for too long. But it’s over now.”

Yuri laughs. “Over?! You’re manipulating me! I’m not depressed!”

“Then why are you slowly killing yourself?” Yuya asks, tears spilling over his cheeks. “I don’t want you to die. If this is the only way to keep that from happening…” he sobs. “I didn’t want it to come to this.”

“Come to what?” Yuri screams.

But Yuya doesn’t answer. He leaves the room, and Yuri is left to shout into the empty room for answers. He’s confused, and he doesn’t like it one bit. He’s never been so thrown before. He’s never felt so…disconnected. From himself, from reality. He has no idea what’s going on.

And maybe it’s the lack of sleep, or dehydration, or both, but Yuri finds himself thinking about what Yuya said. Is he really depressed? Well, Yuri has known for a while that something was wrong with him. How could there not be? But it was nothing that ever bothered him. Why did everyone here believe that he needed to be fixed?

Yuri draws his knees up to his chest and buries his face in them. He’s so tired. He used to be able to go longer without sleep. He’s gotten weak. He can’t forgive himself for this, for letting himself get to this point. He should have tried to break out before now. He didn’t imagine these idiots would find the tracking device in his arm. He thought he was doing his job by waiting, waiting for Akaba to come with the Obelisk force and set Yuri free so they could tear down the Resistance on their own turf. Yuri was wrong. He’s never wrong. Now he’s too weak to make a break for it, and he doesn’t have his dragon.

Yuri hates himself for getting so attached to Starve Venom. He thought he could depend on the dragon to always be on his side. He thought they would always be a pair. He was wrong. The only person Yuri should have trusted was himself. The loss of his dragon has hit him too hard.

Yuri can feel himself starting to drift off and he snaps his head up. No. he can’t fall asleep. He knows that if he does, it’ll be all over. He has no idea what these people will do to him but whatever it is, it’ll ruin everything. Yuri never thought he would be afraid of these stupid children, and he hates himself for it, but he’s afraid now. Everything is all but ruined.

Yuri stares at the ceiling, a sound rising in his chest. He tries to swallow it down, but he’s tired of holding himself together. Yuri shuts his eyes tight and he screams.

Instantly he regrets it. It takes a surprising amount of energy to scream. Now he’s even more tired than he was before. No more screaming.

So Yuri talks to himself.

“Idiot. Complete, fucking idiot. What were you thinking?”

He probably shouldn’t talk to himself. He feels like he’s giving these children more ammunition to use against him. But now that he’s started, he can’t seem to stop.

“Taken down by a fucking blow dart. What’s the matter with you, Yuri? How have you let yourself stoop so low?” He laughs. “God, they were right about you. You’re just a stupid kid. How did you get to have so much faith in yourself?”

He leans back against the pillow. The bed is too soft. Hi sits up again, legs tucked under himself, and holds his back as straight as he can. It hurts, he’s weak from lack of food, but the pain is good, it’ll keep him awake.

Yuri rambles. He curses himself, Leo Akaba, the people keeping him here. He talks until the door to the room opens again, and then he clams up.

Yuto, Yuya, and Yugo enter. They look determined. Yuya kicks off his shoes, and he sits on the bed.

“What the hell?” Yuri snaps.

Yuya sits behind Yuri and grabs him.

Yuri thrashes. “WHAT THE HELL?!” He repeats, shrieking this time.

“It’s a hug, Yuri,” Yuya says calmly. Too calm.

Yuri realizes that he’s not exactly thrashing, it’s more like flopping weakly. He tries to jab Yuya’s stomach with his elbow, but Yuto is suddenly there, holding his hands.

“Get the hell off me,” Yuri snarls.

“Give it a rest,” Yugo says. “You’re not scaring anyone.”

Yuri bares his teeth. “You should be scared of me.”

“We were, once,” Yuya says. “Before we knew who you were.”

“You know nothing about me!” Yuri screams, still trying to flail, but he’s very much contained. Yuya’s got a good grip on him, he’s got Yuri’s arms pinned to his sides, and either Yuya is very strong or Yuri is very weak, because Yuri can’t even wiggle in Yuya’s arms. Yuto’s kind of sitting on Yuri’s feet, and he’s still got a hold of Yuri’s wrists. Yuri jerks his head back, trying to hit Yuya in the mouth, or nose, anywhere, but he just ends up with his head leaning back on Yuya’s shoulder. Yuya presses his cheek to Yuri’s. It’s kind of gross.

“We do know you,” Yuya says quietly. “We’re one, don’t you know?”

“Incarnations of Chaos,” Yuto says dryly. “Perhaps none of us more than you. The difference between us and you, is you were never loved.”

Yuri laughs incredulously. “What does love have to do with this?”

“Everything,” Yuya says. “It’s why we’re not scared of you.”

“You’re even bigger idiots than I thought,” Yuri snarls. He lifts his head and glares at Yuto and Yugo, and he squirms in Yuya’s arms. “I hate you. I don’t need you.”

Yuya turns his face into Yuri’s neck. “Yes, you do. We need each other. Everyone needs someone.”

“Not me,” Yuri says.

“Especially you,” Yuya says calmly.

The door opens again and Yugo meets Shun halfway across the room.

“This should knock him out for a while,” Shun says, handing Yugo a needle.

Yuri has been very, very good about keeping himself under control for a long time, but the last few days have taken away any control he thought he had. He sees the needle, and he panics.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Yuri screams, flailing. He manages to kick Yuto away, but Yuya holds fast and tight.

“Easy, easy!” Yuya says, his mouth too close to Yuri’s ear, his entire body too close, far too close, it’s suffocating. “Shh, Yuri, it’s okay.”

“You’re all insane!” Yuri cries, his eyes locked onto the needle. “Whatever you think you can do to me you’re wrong!”

“We just want you to sleep,” Yuya says. He rocks, back and forth, and Yuri is too drained to fight the motion. Yuri bites down on the inside of his mouth, pain grounding him, keeping him alert.

“Never,” Yuri hisses through clenched teeth. “I’ll never do what you want me to.”

“Damn you,” Yugo sighs. “Why couldn’t you make this easy for once?”

“Fuck you,” Yuri says, and he tastes blood in his mouth. He bit too hard. Yugo approaches, needle in his hand, and Yuri spits at him. Blood splatters his shirt.

“Yuri, what did you do to yourself?” Yuya gasps.

Why aren’t they taking him seriously? Yuri has been doing nothing but screaming, cursing, and kicking since he got here. Why are they still babying him? When will they snap, hit him, let him starve himself? Why are they being so…nice?

“What are you doing?” Yuri asks.

“We’re going to help you sleep,” Yuto says. He holds Yuri’s wrists. Yugo swipes an alcohol cloth across his skin.

“No!” Yuri gasps, “No, beyond that! What…what do you want from me? Why do you want me to sleep? Why do you care?”

They all seem to freeze.

“We told you,” Yuya says, “You’re one of us.”

“No I’m not!” Yuri says, and he’s not even being contrary on purpose now, he’s genuinely confused. “We are nothing alike. We are nothing to each other. I’ve done nothing but hurt you!”

Yuya sighs. “That’s not who you are. If you could just understand…it didn’t have to be this way. If Akaba hadn’t gotten his hands on you, if you had just been given a chance…”

Yuri tries to yank his wrists back from Yuto. “You’re not making any sense! What chance? What do you mean this isn’t who I am?”

“We told you, nobody loved you,” Yuya says. “You could have grown up so differently if you had just been loved.”

“That wouldn’t have changed anything,” Yuri snaps.

“Then why are you so different from the rest of us?” Yuya asks.

Yuri rolls his eyes. “Because I’m more driven? Because I like chaos? Because my dragon—”

He cuts himself off. Because Starve Venom fed him fantasies of power. Because Yuri craved that power. Because all Yuri ever wanted was for people to stop looking at him like scum.

Yuri feels a pinch in his arm and he yelps before he can stop himself. Yugo pulls the needle back and that same panic from before envelops Yuri once again. He doesn’t want to sleep. He hates sleeping. No, he hates dreaming. He hates that it brings back memories, feelings he’s buried. Sleep is for the weak.

“I hate you,” Yuri growls. “I hate all of you.” He’s repeating himself. Whatever they injected him with, it’s fast acting. Yuri’s vision is starting to blur, and he goes limp. He doesn’t fucking _want to sleep._

Yuya unwraps his arms from Yuri’s torso and lays him down on the bed. He strokes Yuri’s cheek. “You’re okay,” Yuya says, his voice breaking. “Or you will be. I’m sorry…we didn’t want you to cry.”

Yuri’s not crying. He hasn’t cried in years. Since he was a baby. He can’t remember when he last cried…But his face is wet. Maybe he is crying.

Yuri closes his eyes. He can’t fight off the exhaustion anymore.

 

 

As Yuri’s eyes close, Yuya breaks down. Yuto pulls him to his feet, and leads him out of the room and down the hall, up the stairs, and into the bedroom that the three of them share. Yugo follows along, and the three of them shut themselves in their room.

“Aw, Yuya,” Yuto sighs as Yuya collapses against him, sobbing.

“He looked so scared,” Yuya whimpers.

Yuto never thought the word ‘scared’ would ever apply to Yuri. But Yuya’s right, he did look scared. Yuto pats Yuya’s back. “We had to knock him out, he needed to sleep,” Yuto reminds him.

Yugo shuffles in behind Yuya and hugs him as well. “Yuya sandwich,” he mutters, nosing the back of Yuya’s neck. Most days, that makes Yuya giggle. Not today.

Yuya’s chest shakes as he sobs. “Wh-why won’t he believe that we w-want to help him?”

Yuya is a special kind of human. One who wants everyone to be as happy as he is. One who would give away his own heart to make someone else happy. One who wants everyone in the world to feel as loved as he is. It’s a tall order to fill—everyone loves Yuya. Everyone except Yuri, who doesn’t even love himself. And that’s what makes this so painful, at least for Yuya. Because ever since they found out that Yuri was a dead man walking, that he didn’t have any allies, or family, or friends, Yuya has been desperate to give Yuri all of that. A life, a family, and people he could depend on. And Yuya can’t fathom how Yuri could find that so hard to believe, how he wouldn’t want that.

“We’re not giving up on him,” Yuto says. He kisses Yuya’s temple. “Come on now, crying yourself sick over this isn’t going to help anyone.”

Yuya burrows his head in Yuto’s neck. “But I want him now,” Yuya chokes out.

Yuto knows. He doesn’t know if Yuri feels it, too—that tug on their heartstrings every time they get close to each other. Yuya would never overwhelm Yuri on purpose, but that need to touch, hug, be a part of each other’s lives is so strong, it’s painful to ignore it. They are cut from the same cloth. They are soulmates. Yuri is supposed to be one of them. And he’s not, and it hurts.

Yuto and Yugo look at each other helplessly. What can they do, what can they say to make this better? It all depends on Yuri and how he can recover from years of neglect and abuse. Soon they’ll start him on antidepressants, soon they’ll talk to him every day, and try to make him understand why they’re doing this. But when it’ll get through to Yuri…no one can predict that.

Yugo moves Yuya’s hair aside and kisses the back of his neck. “You need to sleep, too,” He murmurs. “You’ve strung yourself out for too long.”

Yuya sniffles. “Stay with me?” he asks quietly.

“Of course,” Yuto and Yugo say together.

The three of them climb into bed, pressed close together. Their bed is huge, but they hardly need all the room, as close as they tend to stay. They’ve been sharing a bed for months now, since Yugo moved in with them. Even before that, when it was just Yuto and Yuya, they shared a bed.

“Do you think Yuri will ever…be like this?” Yuya asks quietly.

Yuto strokes Yuya’s hair. “I hope so. But it will take a long time.”

Yuya sniffles. “Why did it have to be like this? Why didn’t he ever have someone?”

“We can only guess,” Yugo says. “Maybe Fusion was more messed up than we thought.”

Or maybe Yuto, Yuya, and Yugo got luckier than they should have. Maybe they stole all of the goodness that should have gone to Yuri.

Maybe, somewhere along the way, fate fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter in the story.


	2. form these hearts in stone

The Four dimensions had only recently discovered each other. Life had gone on just fine in each universe until one man named Leo Akaba discovered that there were gods among the citizens of each dimension. Or, parts of gods. The God of Chaos and the Goddess of Creation, who created the four dimensions and split themselves up to live among their own people. A piece of each god was sealed into a child every hundred years, one in each dimension. The four pieces weren’t supposed to meet, but if they did, there was no danger in it. The Gods weren’t uncontrollable.

Not yet.

Leo Akaba sought to gain control over the pieces of the gods and force them to do his bidding. He had lost his daughter in an accident some twenty years ago, and he wanted to destroy the current world—or worlds—and rebuild it into a universe where there was only one dimension, where his daughter lived on, and where he was the one who ensured peace.

He had come up with the perfect way to do so. He created four powerful cards with the Dragons of Chaos—the god’s most loyal servants—sealed into them. He intended to have those cards fall into the hands of the incarnations of Chaos. The dragons would corrupt the incarnations, twisting them, making them into monsters. At the same time, he created four bracelets with the power of the elements—the domain of the Goddess of Creation—sealed into them. These bracelets he intended to have fall into the hands of the incarnations of Creation. The bracelets were the only things powerful enough to control the god of chaos, but could only be wielded by the incarnations of Creation.

Akaba had known it was unlikely, to say the least, that the Goddess of Creation would willingly command the God of Chaos to tear the world asunder, then obey Leo Akaba and rebuild the world in his image. Hence, why Akaba had spent most of his life developing a form of mind control strong enough to make the Goddess of Creation obey him.

Akaba’s plan had probably been, at one point, a good one. He wanted a world in which there was no suffering. But power always corrupts, and Akaba had become corrupted. He took over one dimension, the one called Fusion, and he did it by getting the children. He molded the youngest citizens into the perfect soldiers, called them The Obelisk Force, and he set them loose on the other dimensions, starting with Xyz, the dimension that was considered the most peaceful.

But Akaba’s own son, Reiji, was leading the fight against Fusion dimension. And Reiji got to Xyz dimension before Akaba did. Or rather, Reiji’s agent did.

Sakaki Yusho, a charismatic man who didn’t need tricks to rouse supporters. A man who could lead by example rather than fear. A man whose son was an incarnation of chaos. Yusho stood to lose a lot if Akaba succeeded, not the least of which was his own son. For a while, Yusho tried to keep Yuya away from the fighting, but Yuya had never been one to be kept in the dark. It didn’t hurt that his best friend, Yuzu, was an incarnation of Creation. The two of them were drawn into the fight by forces beyond anyone’s comprehension. True, Yuya and Yuzu were children, but that was only part of who they were. They were also eons old powerful beings, and they were not about to sit out the fight.

The same had gone for Ruri and Yuto, incarnations of Creation and Chaos, respectfully. And of course, Yuya and Yuto found each other, and Yuzu and Ruri found each other. And they knew that they needed to find the rest of their pieces. The four of them had departed for the Synchro dimension against orders, tracked down their counterparts, and inadvertently dragged 90% of the population of Synchro dimension into the war when word got out that there were dimensions where life was much fairer than it was in their world.

So Reiji Akaba had an army, a decently sized one. But Leo Akaba had the ability to seal people’s souls away. It was critical that his Rebellion get access to the inside of Leo’s forces, and the opportunity for that arose when Serena, the final incarnation of Creation, practically fell in their laps.

Serena had been desperate to prove herself a warrior to Leo Akaba, so she had snuck away from the Fusion dimension to attempt to kidnap one of her counterparts. It didn’t work. And the Rebellion nearly lost her as soon as they got her when the Obelisk Force attacked the hideout where Serena was being kept. That was when Reiji got the idea to scan Serena’s body for foreign objects, and found the tracking device embedded in her arm.

Until that moment, Serena had fought attempts to talk with the members of the Rebellion, but seeing the tracking device in her arm changed her. She agreed to work with the Rebellion. She returned to Fusion dimension, and she began working as a double agent. She smuggled information about Leo Akaba’s mind control to the Rebels, and they began to reverse engineer the technology to figure out its weakness. Once they had figured out how to keep the mind control from working, the Rebellion sent in a Trojan horse—Ruri Kurosaki.

Ruri and Serena stole information for months. They probably would have continued working undercover if Yuri hadn’t been captured. But with all the Incarnations on the side of the Rebellion, the war was all but won. Leo Akaba’s Obelisk Force may have been formidable, but they were still children. Brainwashed children, who fought because someone more powerful told them to.

That was something Reiji had an advantage in—all his soldiers had something to fight for. Family, freedom, and friends. They fought with their hearts.

Yuya looks down at the card in his hands. Starve Venom Dragon. The most corrupted of the Dragons of Chaos. Yuya could feel the dragon’s shame. It felt it had failed to protect Yuri.

“You were the only thing he cared about,” Yuya tells the dragon. “He does love you. You must have done something right.” He lifts the card to his mouth and whispers, “Tell me about him. How do I reach his heart?”

 

Yuri can’t tell if he’s awake or not. He could be awake, but he could also be dreaming. But…he’s pretty sure he doesn’t own a dog. He’s pretty sure that he doesn’t like dogs. So why the hell is he playing with one? Yuri flails and he distinctly hears someone grunt in pain. He tries to open his eyes, but it’s not going well. He groans and tries to raise his hands to rub his eyes, but his arms are heavy, too. He’s not seeing a dog anymore, so that probably had been a dream.

“Yuri, can you hear me?”

Yuri tries to answer, but he just groans again. He thinks it’s Yugo talking.

“I’m gonna sit you up,” Yugo says. “Here we go.”

Yuri feels his body move, and it’s strange to not be in control of it. He leans back against something hard, and his head lolls to the side. His neck hurts.

“I’m going to get a wet cloth,” Yugo says.

Yuri kind of wants to lay down again, but even that feels like too much work. He’s not sure how much time passes, but eventually he feels something wet on his face, and it passes over his eyes, and Yuri finally manages to open them. His eyes feel sticky and gross, and they burn. He squeezes them shut and flails until he manages to fling his hands over his face.

“Okay, you’re okay,” Yugo says, “Take a deep breath for me.”

Yuri finds himself obeying. He doesn’t want to do what Yugo says, but…he’s just so _tired_.

“Wha’s hap’ning?” Yuri mumbles.

“You’ve been asleep for a really long time,” Yugo answers. “We’ve been keeping you hydrated and giving you vitamins, but we haven’t sedated you. You just really, really needed to sleep.”

“How long?” Yuri asks. He hopes he asks.

“Almost three days.”

Yuri wants to be furious. He should be furious. How could he have slept for so long? How is it that he hasn’t been found and brought back to Academia?

Oh right. The Rebels took the tracking device out of his arm. Akaba has no idea where he is.

Yuri hears a door open. “Yuto said he was awake!”

“Yuya,” Yugo sighs, “You need to be resting.”

Yuri feels hands on his shoulders. “Are you okay? Do you need water? Are you hungry?”

Yuri shoves his hands in front of himself and makes contact with something that he hopes is Yuya’s face. “Shut up,” he growls. Then he flops over on his side, and he’s pretty sure he falls asleep again.

 

The next time Yuri wakes up, he’s much more alert. Alert enough to remember that last time he woke up, he’d been asleep for three days and could barely open his eyes because he felt like utter crap. This time around he feels much less crappy, and he’s able to open his eyes right away. The first thing he sees is Yuya’s face, inches from his own.

“Morning,” Yuya greets. He’s lying down next to Yuri.

Yuri kicks Yuya and he falls off the bed with a yelp. He pops up right away, and Yuri’s almost disappointed.

“Get out,” Yuri growls.

Yuya looks hurt. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You drugged me,” Yuri spits. He sits up and the room spins. He puts his hands to his forehead. “What the hell did you give me? I was practically drunk last time I woke up!”

“Yugo told you, didn’t he? We didn’t sedate you.”

“Bullshit!”

“No, it’s true,” Yuya insists. “You just kept sleeping. You were exhausted, the doctor said your body was on the brink of collapse, you really needed that rest.”

“What doctor?” Yuri asks, his nerves coming back to him. The only doctor he knows is, frankly, unfit to practice medicine.

But the Rebellion has a legitimate doctor, one Yuri meets. She’s middle aged, doesn’t bat an eye at Yuri’s threats, and tells him that he’s looking a lot better after four days of sleep.

“Four days?!” Yuri repeats incredulously. It was three the last time he woke up. He slept another whole day?

“Indeed,” the doctor says. “And now it is imperative that you eat.”

Yuri wants to disobey, he’s been ignoring food since he woke up in this godforsaken place. But when the doctor leaves and Shun enters the room with a dish of food, Yuri finds that he simply can’t ignore the food anymore.

Shun hands the bowl to Yuya, and Yuya feeds Yuri himself. It’s just plain rice, Yuri knows he can’t handle much else at the moment, but it tastes like heaven after starving for so long. Yuri isn’t a stranger to this feeling, and he wants to be disgusted with himself. How has he let it come to this? He’s eating out of Yuya’s hands the way he once ate out of Leo Akaba’s.

“I’m sorry,” Yuya says.

“For what?” Yuri growls as he chews.

“It’s only so you won’t make yourself sick,” Yuya says. “I’m not…I don’t want you to think of me as anything special for this.”

“Good,” Yuri snaps, “Because that would never happen.”

Yuya continues, “Starve Venom told me that Akaba used to withhold food from you for no reason at all, then feed you himself. It said Akaba was conditioning you to associate him with power to make you suffer and to make you happy.”

“I’m aware,” Yuri growls.

“I…you can hate me, if you want,” Yuya says quietly. “I don’t want you to hate me, but I understand if you can never trust me.”

The rice is finished. Yuri is still starving, but he doesn’t stoop to asking for more. He knows they would never give him more, and besides, he’s not that weak yet that he would dream of asking for anything from them.

Yuya stands and walks to the door. Yuri expects Yuya to leave, but to his surprise Yuya merely leaves the empty bowl by the door, then he sits by the bed once again.

“Do you remember my dogs?” Yuya asks

Yuri stares at him. “Huh?”

Yuya explains, “While you were asleep, I told you about my pets. Starve Venom told me that you don’t like animals, but it didn’t tell me why. I thought I would tell you about my dogs, and cats, but you seemed to like hearing about the dogs more. Whenever I talked about them your face…it seemed to relax. You were so tense, even in your sleep. Were you having nightmares?”

Yuri debates not answering. Finally he shrugs. “I don’t remember.”

“Oh, okay,” Yuya says. “Well, I guess I should fill you in on the more important details now. We weren’t sedating you, but we did start treating your depression.”

“The depression I don’t have,” Yuri says.

“You do,” Yuya says. “We…we had a psychiatrist evaluate you. Besides that…there were notes in the file on you we stole from Akaba. He knew you weren’t well, but he didn’t try to treat you.” Yuya’s voice breaks, and he gulps. “We’ve been treating you with injections, since you were asleep, but…now that you’re awake, do you want to try taking the medication in pills?”

Yuri can’t answer that. He’s kind of in shock. Akaba made a note that he had depression? How was that possible? Yuri didn’t feel depressed. He wasn’t suicidal…well, maybe a little in the last few days since being captured…

And before that, when he put himself in danger willingly? When he took risks no one else would? But wasn’t that because he was confident in himself?

And sure, maybe sometimes he didn’t eat, even when food was available, because he didn’t feel like it or just forgot. And maybe it was hard to sleep, maybe he avoided sleep altogether. Maybe…his moods could have been described as manic.

“Yuri…can I get you anything? A book, a pamphlet, do you want to talk to the doctor?”

“I want you to SHUT UP FOR ONCE!” Yuri shrieks.

Yuya falls silent. Yuri regrets yelling, because in the silence, the noise in his head is so much louder. Yuri has no idea what’s happening to him. There’s a rushing in his ears, and a tingling under his skin. He’s getting flashes of memory, things he hasn’t thought about in ages. All the sleepless nights in the orphanage, with snakes and spiders crawling over him, the dead mice left in his shoes and clothing drawers. He always remembered that Starve Venom comforted him, but he forgot that he used to cry. Yuri liked to tell himself that he had never doubted his dragon’s words, but that simply wasn’t true.  There had been times, when he was a child, he used to think that he would die alone in the streets. He thought about running away from the orphanage and trying to make it on his own. He thought he would rather be alone than in that place.

He remembers when he started dueling, that he was strong, and he thought people would finally like him, but instead they were afraid of him. He remembers when Akaba took him aside and said that it was better to be feared than liked, that fear was powerful, that he like Yuri when he was powerful. Yuri remembers when Starve Venom warned him against Akaba, how Yuri had been nine and lost his trust in everyone. He remembers waking up at night in cold sweats, confused about where he was, and how he never turned to Akaba, but his dragon instead. He remembers having nightmares, and keeping it to himself. He remembers that when he stopped sleeping, it was indeed because of the nightmares, but more than that, it was because he hated the fact that they scared him. Nightmares were one thing, but lying awake for hours, terrified of his own shadow, it disgusted Yuri. He was nine, and he was disgusted with himself.

Of course, Yuri is fully aware that he’s not a normal human child. But he’s not human, he’s an incarnation of chaos. He’s not supposed to be normal. How could he possibly suffer from depression, a human ailment? How could any medical term be enough to describe what’s happening in Yuri’s head? It’s been nothing but chaos in there for as long as Yuri can remember, and it’s supposed to be that way. Yuri is chaos, he is destruction, so it’s only natural for him to crave it.

But…what was it Yuya had said the other day? Why, then, was Yuri so different from the others?

_“You could have grown up so differently if you had just been loved.”_

Yuya had said that, too.

Yuri remembers when he was a child, he had indeed dreamed of being adopted. Even with Starve Venom whispering fantasies of power in Yuri’s ears, he had still yearned for a family. Yuri wonders, if there had been a family, would he have ignored his dragon? He wonders, is it really the chaos swirling in his soul that is to blame for his sadistic nature? Or is it, dare he say, the mental instability of an abused child?

“No!” Yuri screams. He digs his nails into his palms. He shakes his head. “No, it can’t be!”

“Yuri…”

“SHUT UP!” Yuri sinks his teeth into the cuffs around his wrist and bites as hard as he can, partly out of frustration, partly to keep himself from screaming any more.

Yuri feels the bed dip.

“Yuri, stop!” Yuya cries, “You’ll hurt yourself!”

Yuri knows that he needs to get himself under control, he’s better than this, he’s better than Yuya, and Yugo, and Yuto, and their families and friends, he doesn’t need any of that, he doesn’t want it, he never has! He’s being messed with, it’s the stupid medication that Yuya’s giving him, it’s Yuya…

It’s _Yuya._

Yuri opens his eyes and he stares at Yuya. “It’s you,” he snarls. “You did this to me.”

Yuya’s eyes fill with tears. “I’m sorry.”

Something about that makes Yuri snap. He lunges at Yuya and manages to get his fingers around Yuya’s neck. He shoves Yuya down on the bed.

“WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!” Yuri screeches.

The door flies open. “Get off of him!” Yuto hollers.

Yuya throws a hand out. “Don’t touch him!” He says, clear as day. “He’s not hurting me.”

What is Yuya talking about? Of course Yuri is hurting him! He’s got his hands on Yuya’s throat and he’s squeezing as hard as he can…

Yuya puts his hands on Yuri’s forearms. Yuri blinks tears out of his own eyes. He hasn’t cried in years…

No, he hasn’t cried since Yugo, Yuto, and Yuya sedated him.

He looks down at his hands. His fingers are shaking, where they’re wrapped loosely around Yuya’s neck.

“You’re sorry?” Yuri gasps. “You have no idea what you’re sorry for. I don’t care that I’m here.” He laughs. “You fucking kidnapped me. You drugged me. I don’t care. I care that you made me like this. I was fine, I was perfectly fine until you decided to fix me. What did you do to my head?”

“Nothing that wasn’t in the works,” Yuya says quietly. “If you could only see how you look…”

“I MEAN INSIDE MY HEAD!” Yuri screeches. “YOU MESSED IT ALL UP!”

“I’m trying to help!”

“I don’t need your help! I am exactly what I was supposed to be! I am chaos!”

Yuya’s face changes. He sits up and grabs Yuri’s shoulders. “So am I,” he says, his voice low.

Yuri gasps. His hands fall to his sides. He stares at Yuya. At his eyes. Yuri knows those eyes. He’s known those eyes for millennia.

“Now do you get it?” Yuya asks in that same voice. “We are one and the same. We may be chaos, but we are also human. We have always known this. You can’t ignore the part of you that is human. You have neglected it for too long.”

Yuri’s throat feels dry, his heart races, and his chest seems tight. He’s afraid, but not of Yuya—even though this isn’t Yuya, not really—no, Yuri’s afraid of himself. How did he forget this part of Yuya? How did he underestimate this boy for so long? Yuri thought he was in control this entire time. Has it been…a lie? Has he been lying to himself this entire time?

The look fades from Yuya’s eyes, and he loosens his grip on Yuri’s shoulders. “We really, really just want to help you,” he says quietly. “If you could just open up a little bit, I know you’d be able to feel it. We’re supposed to be together. Maybe that means something different to you than it does myself, Yuto, and Yugo, but no matter how we interpret this feeling, it binds us together. And all Yuto, Yugo, and I want for you is to get better. We’re not trying to hurt you.”

Yuri looks away. He wants to snap at Yuya, say something hurtful and snarky, but he just can’t find anything to say. After a few minutes, Yuya moves to the side and lays down on the bed.

“What are you doing?” Yuri mumbles.

“I’m freaking exhausted,” Yuya says. “I won’t try to touch you or anything, I just…need to lay down for a minute.”

Yugo and Yuto finally step out of the doorway and they sit in the chairs beside the bed.

“He’s been in here every day,” Yugo says. “He’s been looking out for you.”

Yuri refuses to look at them. He lays back down, suddenly exhausted as well, but he’s careful to keep space between himself and Yuya.

Yuto says, “I know this is probably really confusing for you, but we’re also here for you. Everything Yuya said, it goes for Yugo and myself as well. None of us are trying to hurt you.”

Yuri hums in response. He’s still not sure he believes that, but he would rather not argue at the moment. He’ll sleep for a little while, and maybe he’ll argue in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you can see, current Arc-V canon has no power here, I make my own rules because SCREW ZARC HONESTLY.


	3. the sea of changes

Yuri doesn’t argue when he wakes up. He doesn’t argue at all in the following days. His silence surprises even himself. He eats what he’s fed, he accepts the various injections that he’s given, and he even tolerates the constant presence of his captors. And he does mean constant. The only privacy he gets is the few minutes he’s given to use the toilet. When he showers, someone sits in the bathroom with him. Yuri understands, he would do the same if he had any of them captive.

But the motives of the Resistance differ from the motives of the Obelisk force. If Yuri was holding these people hostage, the surveillance would be to ensure that the captive didn’t escape, or to unsettle them. These people who surround Yuri are all concerned with his well-being. They don’t stare, or whisper threatening things. Some, like Shun, barely look at him. Yugo and some kid named Shingo (Shingo has only come by a few times), are mostly silent, but will sometimes blurt things out in a shaky, nervous tone.

Serena and Ruri haven’t been by since those first few days, and he hasn’t seen Yuzu and Rin at all, though he knows that they’re close by. Close enough for them to be mentioned in passing, as in they had been seen recently. Yuri’s not surprised that they haven’t been forced to babysit him, but he finds himself…almost disappointed, that Serena hasn’t come by again. True, the two of them were never friends, it was impossible to have friends in Academia, everyone was competition. Still, Yuri had always thought of her slightly higher than the others.

Yuya, when he comes to Yuri’s room, isn’t silent for a minute. Most of the time Yuri tries to tune him out, but some of his stories are quite interesting. He tells Yuri about his dogs and cats, about Maiami city, about the shenanigans he got up to in school, and how he performed Pendulum summoning for the first time. Yuri had heard about that, and seen video of it, but he’d never been particularly interested in it until Yuya described the feeling that it gave him. The feeling of possibility, the sensation that fate was in his hands. Yuri had once felt like that, when Akaba told him about ruling all four dimensions, about using the incarnations of Creation to create a perfect society. Yuri had wanted that power so desperately.

He’s waiting for the day Yuya asks him about it, but when the day comes, Yuri still doesn’t have an answer for it.

“Why did you want that power?”

Yuya is sitting on the edge of the bed. Yuri is still cuffed, and the magnetic field keeps him from leaving the bed, but it doesn’t affect Yuya at all. Yuya draws his knees up to his chest and eyes Yuri curiously.

“Be specific,” Yuri says, both to buy himself some time, and to be contrary.

Yuya clarifies. “You said you were going to kill Akaba and take his power. What would you have done with it?”

Yuri mimics Yuya’s posture. Perhaps to an outside observer, they would look like twins. But Yuri doesn’t think they look alike at all. He knows he’s gotten gaunt, and paler than ever. He knows he has shadows under his eyes, because no matter how much he sleeps, or lies down, he never feels rested. Yuya looks tired too, but the kind of tired that comes from a day of important tasks. Yuri truly doesn’t care that he’s being held in this room, but for heaven’s sake, he’s _bored_.

“Well, first,” Yuri begins, “I would have subdued you, Yuto, and Yugo. I would have used your powers to dismantle all forms of government. Then I would use the power of Creation to make a new one that revolved around me.”

“But what would you have done? What kind of government would you have created?”

Yuri scoffs. “Why do you care? It’s not like it’ll happen now.”

Yuya shrugs. “It just seems like an awful lot of work to me. Ruling four dimensions, each with an entire world of people to worry about.”

“I wouldn’t worry,” Yuri says. “I suppose most of the world would have gone on the way it normally did, but everyone would have just known that…I was in charge.”

“What would you have changed?”

Yuri is silent. Honestly, he’s never thought about it. He’s been chasing that power for years but…what would he have done?

“I would have razed that orphanage to the ground,” Yuri growls, “I would track down every child who tormented me and made them lick the grime from my shoes. I would have seen them humiliated the way I was humiliated. And I know it’s fucking immature,” he snarls, curling his hands into fists, “But just once, I wanted them to be terrified of me. Not because I was a freak, but because I was stronger than them.”

“You’re not a freak,” Yuya says.

“Oh, shut up,” Yuri tells him. “I’m a freak and so are you. We’re incarnations of utter destruction. We’re deadly forces that are thousands of years old.”

“But that dream, that plan you laid out to me, that’s the kind of dream I expect from someone who was abused,” Yuya says. “That’s normal. That’s not chaos talking to you, that’s trauma. That’s a kid trying to get control back from the people who took it.”

Yuri wants to kick Yuya and tell him to take it back. Yuri is above trauma, he would never let the past control him. But it’s true, and he’s been letting his past control him all his life.

“And we’re not forces of destruction,” Yuya says. “We’re chaos.”

Yuri rolls his eyes. “What’s the difference?”

“Chaos isn’t a thing,” Yuya says. “It’s not even a force of the natural world. It’s a concept. It’s an umbrella term that’s come to mean anything from a disorganized drawer to a crowd of people. The Greeks thought chaos was the first thing to exist, out of chaos came creation.” Yuya smiles. “It’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

“What could be good about it?” Yuri blurts.

Yuya inches closer. “Well…how about the chaos of a thunder storm? The pelting rain, the wind whipping around houses, toppling trees, and the disorienting flashes of lightning and crashes of thunder—it’s part of nature.” Yuya laughs. “That’s Yugo’s chaos.”

Yuri knows he looks shocked. “You’ve…thought about this?”

Yuya nods. “Yuto is the chaos of change. Rebellion, revolution, the change of leadership, hell even something not half that exciting, like a sudden change in the weather—the kind of change that flips a switch from one end to another. That’s chaos, too. And it’s necessary in all forms of life. Things must change in order to move forward.”

“What am I?” Yuri asks, heart hammering in his chest.

“Fire,” Yuya says quietly. “Wildfire, started by lightning, or a campfire that got out of hand. Fire can be terrifying, but it’s part of nature, too. Forest fires can burn away old layers and create room for new growth. People think they can control fire, keep it contained, but even the smallest candle needs to be watched carefully.” Yuya looks carefully at Yuri. “Akaba thought he could control you. That was his mistake. I would never presume to control you. Once your depression is treated…you’ll be free to go.”

“You’re lying,” Yuri blurts, but he knows that Yuya isn’t. “The others would never allow it. Shun, Serena…”

“They know,” Yuya says. “They hope you won’t go back to Akaba, but they know they’re not to make you stay here.”

“Why?” Yuri asks.

Yuya sits up straight and crosses his legs. Yuri finds himself echoing Yuya’s every move.

“Our goal was never to keep you,” Yuya says. “We had only to look at you to realize that your fire was dangerous to yourself. You were burning yourself out. And then there was Akaba’s plan to kill you. The world needs all the incarnations of chaos to stay in motion. The universe wasn’t ready to lose you.” He hesitates. “I wasn’t ready.”

Yuri draws back slightly.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Yuya say quickly, “But you feel it, don’t you? That need for all of us to be together.”

Yuri scoots away until his back hits the headboard. “What’s your chaos?” he asks, trying to change the subject.

Yuya looks slightly disappointed, but he answers. “I’m the chaos of the unknown.”

Yuri knows he must look confused.

“Like that,” Yuya says. “I’m confusion. Disorientation. Getting lost in a new place. Panic, sensory overload, helplessness, that’s what I am.”

“But…” Yuri frowns. “Everything else had some kind of positive to it. What could be good about all that?”

At that, Yuya smiles again. “Well, if no one ever got lost, or scared, then would they ever ask for help?”

It’s unbelievably clever, Yuri has to admit.

 

Yuya’s words stay with Yuri, and after a few days he finds himself forced to admit that Yuya was right about one thing—if no one was ever lost or scared, they would never ask for help. And Yuri is in a situation where he is lost, and maybe not scared, but uneasy.

For the first time in a long time, Yuri resists the injection that Yugo tries to give him.

“Are you even trained for this?” Yuri mumbles and he holds his arms to his chest.

“I am,” Yugo says patiently. “You learn quickly in war, to do things you never thought you’d have to do. Are you finally ready to take the pills?”

“It’s not that,” Yuri grits out. “I…I want to talk to the doctor who prescribed this.”

Yugo seems surprised. “Okay. I’ll go get her.”

He leaves, and Yuri leans back against the headboard, rubbing a hand over his face. He’s not sure why he’s so opposed to pills, maybe because he still doubts the diagnosis of depression, and to voluntarily take a pill seems like admitting that he does have it, that something is wrong with him. Yuri may allow the injections, but it feels less like a personal admission when it’s someone else injecting the medication into him.

The door opens again and Yuya walks in, along with an older woman.

“Good afternoon, Yuri,” the woman greets. “I’m Dr. Izayoi Aki. I diagnosed your depression.”

Yuri resists the urge to snarl. Yuya sits beside him and holds out his hand, like always, and like always, Yuri refuses to take it.

Swallowing what’s left of his pride, Yuri says, “I feel tired all the time. I know I needed to rest, but I think I should be beyond eighteen hours of sleep every day. Is the medication making me tired?”

Dr. Izayoi looks thoughtful. “It most likely is. Can you tell me how you feel when you’re not sleeping?”

“Bored,” Yuri snaps, unable to help himself.

“Any thoughts of suicide?” the doctor asks.

Yuri clenches his teeth. “No. I didn’t have any before all this.”

“That’s good,” Dr. Izayoi says gently. “What about your appetite?”

“Slowly coming back,” Yuri says.

“And when you sleep during the day, is it a restful sleep? Do you wake up feeling more tired than you did before you went to sleep? Do you have nightmares?”

Yuri has to think about that. He looks down at his hands. “I guess…it’s not restful,” he finally says. “It’s like, I close my eyes and I’m somewhere between awake and asleep. I guess sometimes I dream, but it’s like, I also hear what’s going on around me.” He looks up again. Dr. Izayoi’s expression gives nothing away.

“Unfortunately, depression isn’t an easy thing to treat. There’s no one right way to manage the symptoms, and everyone reacts differently to the medication. It’s good that you brought this to my attention. I’m going to go over my books and see if I can find a different treatment option that’s close to what I’m giving you now, but won’t make you so tired. I don’t want to switch to something totally different, because that won’t be good either.”

Yuri nods and clears his throat. “Do I still have to…get it today?”

Dr. Izayoi nods. “I believe that would be for the best, but hopefully we’ll be able to get you started on something different very soon. Keep in mind that even after that, it may be a few days before you notice changes.”

Yuri tries not to let his disappointment show. Dr. Izayoi leaves, but Yuya stays.

“Sorry,” Yuya says, “I should have thought to ask you about how the medication was affecting you.”

“Why would you worry about it?” Yuri asks, more snappishly than he originally intended. “You’re not the one being medicated.”

Yuya looks away. “But I am. Not for depression but…for anxiety.” He looks up and smiles at Yuri’s shocked expression. “Are you really surprised? You think any of us will come away from this unscathed?”

“I guess not,” Yuri mutters. “When…how long?”

“After my dad disappeared,” Yuya says. “I was only eleven. I get why he and my mom didn’t tell me where he was going and what he was doing, but having him suddenly vanish…it really did a number on me. I tried not to think about it, but some people, media especially, speculated on some awful things. He was a criminal, he was having an affair, even that he had been…killed. I would have terrible nightmares, sometimes I had panic attacks. After I finally found out what he had been doing, I wasn’t any better. I knew it was bad, and I was worried for him. The panic attacks got worse when I found out that Akaba was after Yuzu and myself. I started taking medication not long after that, and I still take it now.”

“Does it really work?” Yuri asks.

Yuya nods enthusiastically. “It absolutely does! I don’t have nearly as many panic attacks anymore, I mean sometimes I do because I have a nightmare or I worry that—” he suddenly turns bright red and clams up.

“What?” Yuri asks.

Yuya clears his throat. “I sleep better, too. I think more clearly, now that I’m not worrying over every little thing.”

“What were you going to say?” Yuri presses.

Yuya closes his eyes. “I worry that…that you’ll keep pushing us away,” he says quietly.

Yuri should have seen that coming. He’s almost exasperated. “What do you want from me?” he demands. “I’m a prisoner here!”

“I know,” Yuya says. He lowers his head. “And I’m sorry. If we thought we could trust you…”

It hurts to hear Yuya say that. It hurts more than Yuri thought it would. It makes sense that Yuya wouldn’t trust him, what has Yuri ever done, besides cause harm to the Revolution? But Yuya has seemed like he had faith in Yuri, and Yuri once laughed at that faith for being misplaced. But now that he knows Yuya is like the rest of them…well, it changes things.

“No, I get it,” Yuri says coolly. “For all your talk of wanting me to get better, you still think I’m a monster.”

“No!” Yuya shouts.

Yuri jumps. He’s starting to get whiplash.

“I’m sorry,” Yuya says, lowering his voice. “I don’t think you’re a monster. I want to trust you, I really do, but I’m worried that you…that you’re going to make a mistake. That you’ll try to leave, and go off the medication, you don’t even accept it, not really. If you did, you would just take the pills, wouldn’t you? But you still make us inject you.” His eyes fill with tears. “I know it’s selfish to ask you to trust me when you don’t even have any freedom. But you don’t even listen to what I’ve been saying this whole time. I really do just want you to get better.”

Yuri leans back. “And what else? What else do you want? Don’t tell me that’s it. What do you truly want from me?”

Yuya closes his eyes. “I want…I want the four of us to be able to come together as one.”

At that, Yuri can’t hold back a gasp. “That would mean Chaos!” He cries. “It’s exactly what Akaba wants!”

“No, not like that,” Yuya says. “Not to cause Chaos. I want us to come together as one soul. We are four parts of one whole. Yuto, Yugo and I have tried it, before. It’s like meditating, we sit and hold hands, and we just feel our souls reaching out towards each other. We see things from each other’s perspectives, we feel what each other feels, and every time we do it, there’s always a piece missing and it…” Yuya’s voice breaks. “It hurts so much each time I think that you’re not there with us.”

There’s so much pain in Yuya’s voice, in his eyes, that Yuri instantly knows it to be true. Yuya does hurt for him. That knowledge is…it’s overwhelming. Yuri finds himself tearing up.

Tears drip down Yuya’s cheeks. “We really do need you, Yuri.”

“How can you possibly mean that?” Yuri asks. “After all that I did?”

Yuya leans forward and presses his forehead against Yuri’s. “It wasn’t your fault,” Yuya says.

Yuri closes his eyes. He can’t look at Yuya right now. He can’t handle that look of honesty, the openness of his face. After all the lies and manipulation, Yuri doesn’t know what to do with the truth.

Yuya cups Yuri’s cheek in his hand. “It wasn’t Starve Venom’s fault either. You were both hurt. Something somewhere went wrong. It was corrupted, and you were abused.”

“So you keep saying,” Yuri says. “I should have been stronger. I should have been better than all of that.”

“Oh Yuri,” Yuya breathes, and next thing Yuri knows, Yuya is hugging him. Yuri’s hands are trapped between their chests, and he can feel Yuya’s heart pounding.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Yuya repeats. “They were so cruel to you. It was inexcusable. You were just a child. There was no way you could have protected yourself, and I am so sorry that you had to go through that.”

“Why are you sorry?” Yuri asks. He’s seconds away from crying, but he’s trying to hold it in.

“Because it could have been me,” Yuya says—sobs, really. “It could have been any one of us, and I just…I wish I had known. I wish I could have found you sooner, I wish someone had gotten you out of there. I wish someone had come got you and given you a chance to have a normal life.” Yuya sniffles. “I wish someone could have been there to love you the way I was loved.”

Yuya leans back. “But you’re still so young, and it’s not too late. I know there’s a war going on and nothing is certain, but…well, you’ve got me, and Yuto and Yugo. If you would just…just let us be there for you.”

“How?” Yuri all but shouts. “What am I supposed to do? Just…believe you? Believe that you won’t turn your back on me like everyone else has?”

Yuya takes his hands. “But that’s exactly what I’ve been saying this whole time I won’t do.” He reaches into his shirt pocket and takes out a card. “Here, take this back. I think you need it now.”

His dragon. Yuri takes the card and holds it to his chest. Yuya strokes Yuri’s hair for a moment, then leaves the room.

Starve Venom reaches out to Yuri hesitantly. Yuri takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. They have a lot to catch up on.


	4. put these battered bones to rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (just realized this story will have 6 chapters including the epilogue so I fixed that)

Change doesn’t happen overnight, not even for a dragon, apparently. Starve Venom tells Yuri that it spent days with Yuya, Yuto, Yugo, and their dragons before it even started healing from the corruption that had caused it to turn so ruthless. It urges Yuri to trust his counterparts, to trust that they do indeed want what’s best for him. Yuri is certainly inclined to trust his dragon, but that doesn’t mean he has make it easy for his counterparts.

Yuri is sure that if his attitude did take a total turn, he would draw more suspicion than anything. So he tolerates certain things, but remains contrary overall. He eats willingly, but criticizes the quality of the food. When he showers, he entertains whoever is minding him with purposefully horrid singing, or random screeching, whichever he feels like. When Yuto and Yugo sit with him and ask about his past, he talks to them, but about mundane things like the color of the walls in the orphanage. Actually, being contrary on purpose makes this whole “cooperation” thing a lot more fun.

The only person Yuri isn’t overly contrary with is Yuya. He doesn’t deny favoring Yuya more than the others, something about him just draws people in. Yuri envies it, in a way.

Yuya takes to hugging Yuri. More like cuddling him, really. He seats himself behind Yuri and hugs Yuri to his chest. Yuya even starts taking Yuri’s cuffs off during these “cuddles.” Yuri never thought he would tolerate being cuddled, but he’s decided that there are worse things in the world than being held by Yuya.

One day while Yuya is cuddling Yuri, he suddenly reaches into his deck holster and takes out a medicine bottle. The bottle is clear, and about a third of the way full of small, blue pills.

“What are these?” Yuri asks as Yuya places the bottle in his hand.

“It’s your medication, the pill form of it,” Yuya explains. “I thought you should see it.”

Yuri turns the bottle around in his hands, staring at it for a few seconds. Then, just to be difficult, he throws the bottle across the room. It hits the door and he smirks, leaning back against Yuya’s chest.

“Oops,” Yuri says.

“I knew that would happen,” Yuya says. He pulls another bottle out of his deck holster and rests his hand atop Yuri’s knee. “You can take these. We can stop the injections.”

Yuri frowns and looks away from the bottle. The medication is helping, he knows it is. One day when Yuto, Yugo, and Yuya were all in the room with Yuri, Yuri pronounced Yugo’s name correctly for the very first time. Yugo had started to correct him, then realized Yuri had said his name properly. He looked like he was about to faint in shock, and Yuri laughed. Really laughed. It had taken Yuri by surprise, he couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed because something was innocently funny. That was when Yuri knew he was starting to feel okay. Not necessarily better, but okay.

Still, there’s always the chance that Yuri will slip. If, given the chance to take his future into his own hands, would he really take that chance? Or would he find a way to screw it up?

Yuri nudges Yuya’s hand away. “Put those away.”

Yuya obeys, and he wraps his arms around Yuri’s middle, fingers teasing along his ribs. Yuri squirms, whining, and Yuya noses behind Yuri’s ear.

“Think about it, okay?” Yuya asks.

Yuri grabs Yuya’s wandering fingers and gives them a warning squeeze. “Yeah, whatever,” he says.

 

It’s rare for Yuri to wake up alone in his room. There’s a note taped to the headboard, he grabs it and squints at the untidy handwriting.

_‘Had to set out for a minute. Be back soon! – Yuya’_

Yuri slaps the note back on the headboard and rolls over. He’s sure it won’t take long for Yuya to get back.

But when Yuri wakes up again, he’s still alone. He wonders what time it is. He’s actually getting hungry now. He sits up and looks around. There’s no sign that anyone has been in the room, and he’s still handcuffed so he can’t leave the bed. What could be keeping Yuya?

The door opens and Yuri sighs in relief. “I was wondering…” He clams up real fast. It’s not Yuya walking into his room.

Serena looks terrible. She has a long scratch under one eye and her left wrist is heavily bandaged. She fumbles her way into the room, a tray of food balanced in her good hand.

“Sorry for the wait,” she says, kicking the door closed. Yuri jumps at the sound and scoots back against the headboard.

“What are you doing here?” He demands. “You haven’t…it’s been weeks!” He’s guessing, he has no idea what day it is.

“I know,” Serena says. She deposits the tray on the bed and sits at the very edge of the mattress. “I’ve been pretty busy. But you look a lot better than you did last time I saw you.”

“You look worse,” Yuri says.

Serena shrugs. “What can I say, it’s a war out there.”

And Yuri feels a flash of guilt that he desperately tries to ignore. The war’s not his fault, Akaba started it, maybe Yuri was part of it but he hasn’t been for a long time. He grabs for the plate of food, then hesitates. “Um, my wrists?”

“Oh, right!” Serena gasps, looking as guilty as Yuri feels. She takes a data chip out of her pocket, passes it over the scanner on the cuffs, and they click open.

“Do you want me to leave?” Serena asks.

“Do you want to leave?” Yuri fires back.

Serena hesitates. “Well…I guess not?”

“It’s fine if you do,” Yuri mutters through a mouthful of food.

But Serena stays. Even after Yuri finishes breakfast and she clears the tray off the bed, she returns to sit once more.

“Look,” Serena says, “Yuya and the others may not be back for a few more hours, so if you want to be alone that’s fine, but I can stay.”

Yuri sits back. “What happened to your face?” He asks.

Serena touches the scar. “Obelisk force. Same for my wrist.”

Yuri bites his lip. “Um…what’s going on out there? How long have I been here?”

“It’s been two months,” Serena answers. “As for what’s going on, we’ve chased Academia out of the Synchro and XYZ dimensions, and kept them out of standard. Now we’re waging an assault on Fusion dimension. We’re trying to get to Akaba but Academia’s a tough place to break into, especially now that we’ve lost our inside spy.”

“Lost?” Yuri asks. “Lost who?”

“I guess you might as well know,” Serena says, “Asuka and Edo were working for us. And by lost I don’t mean carded or anything, but they did have to get the heck out of Academia. Akaba’s gotten super paranoid. Apparently the entire school’s been barricaded. All the old secret passageways are closed off, even the windows have been boarded up.”

“So where’s Yuya, Yuto, and Yugo?” Yuri asks nervously.

“Overseeing a fight,” Serena says. “They’re not actually fighting, but they are giving advice to duelists who are.”

“Are they safe?” Yuri asks.

Serena smiles. “Yeah, they are.”

But Yuri still worries. He actually forgot that there was an actual war going on, and Yuya, Yuto, and Yugo were part of it. He’s furious with them for putting themselves in danger. After all they went through to get Yuri away from Academia, they’re putting themselves at risk now? Serena may say that they’re safe but Yuri isn’t buying it. Nothing is safe from Akaba, the only way anything and anyone will ever be safe is for Academia to be dismantled and Akaba locked up or killed.

“Serena?”

“Yes?”

Yuri can’t look at her. “What are they going to do to Academia?”

“Well, when we capture students we take them to be rehabilitated. Like what we did with you, only in more of a hospital environment. You were a special case.”

“How’s that working out?” Yuri asks. When Serena hesitates, he scoffs. “Not well, I take it?”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Serena says defensively. “And not everyone has an all-powerful dragon to talk to during their rehab.”

“There’s no way they can all be helped.” Yuri says. “And what about Akaba? What will they do to him if they catch him?”

“I don’t know,” Serena says. “That’s none of my business, it’s for Reiji to decide.”

That makes Yuri snap to attention. “Reiji? Akaba Reiji, the Professor’s son? Why do you even trust him?! And of course it’s your business what they do to the Professor, it’s only your life he was trying to control! Don’t you think you ought to have a say in it, that all of them should?”

“You mean all of us,” Serena corrects.

Yuri rolls his eyes. “Like anyone would trust me.”

“Well what would you do with Akaba?” Serena asks.

“Make him disappear,” Yuri says. “Erase him from history. The only way we can heal the dimensions from his damage is to make it so the damage never happened.”

Serena’s eyes widen. “Yuri, are you suggesting we rewrite history?”

Yuri looks away from her. “You asked me for my opinion.”

Serena doesn’t end up staying much longer. Yuya comes crashing into the room a few minutes later, and Serena leaves, leaving Yuri to listen to Yuya’s repeated apologies for his absence.

 

Several days later, Yuya comes to Yuri’s room and says, “Yuri, I want you to meet someone.”

“Okay,” Yuri says, mentally putting his guard up. The uneasy look on Yuya’s face has him wondering if he’s about to be introduced to yet another doctor.

But the woman who comes into the room isn’t wearing a doctor’s coat. She’s young, with a gentle, if somewhat tired, face. Yuri has never seen her before, but even before Yuya opens his mouth, he can guess who she is.

“Yuri, this is my mother, Yoko.”

Yuri recoils, feeling like he’s been slapped. Anger claws at his chest, rising in his throat like bile. He feels like hissing, screaming, and puking all at the same time. But he sits with his mouth clamped shut.

Yoko smiles. “Yuya’s told me a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Is it?” Yuri snarls. He glares at Yuya. “What are you playing at? You want to rub it in my face that, that you got the better deal here?”

“No,” Yuya says, “I just—”

“I wanted to meet you,” Yoko says. “I’ve met Yuto and Yugo, too.” She takes a step closer, and Yuri scrambles back.

“Go away,” he says, “Get out of here!”

But he doesn’t mean it. Almost more terrifying than his anger is the desire to run into this woman’s arms and cry on her shoulder. She looks like she wouldn’t mind. She looks like she would hold Yuri and comfort him. She looks like the mother he’s always wanted.

Yoko freezes. “I will leave, if that’s what you do in fact want.”

Yuri claps both hands over his mouth so he won’t have to answer that. He wishes Yuya had left his cuffs on. Maybe if he were handcuffed, Yoko would stay away from him.

Yoko doesn’t leave. She moves closer. “Honey, can I sit with you?”

Honey, she called him. Now Yuri definitely wants to throw up. He’s never been called that before and it’s amazing and heartbreaking. He swallows, and nods.

Yoko sits on the bed and holds out her hand. “It’s okay,” she says softly. “Yuto and Yugo didn’t know what to do either. Yuto ran away from me. Yugo just wanted a hug.”

Yuri leans forward, then back.

Yoko smiles. “Do you want a hug?”

Hardly daring to believe this is happening, Yuri nods.

Yoko cradles him. She tucks Yuri’s head against her neck, and wraps her arms around his back. Her fingers find the bumps in his spine and the sharp ridge of his shoulder blades. She pulls him closer, closer than even Yuya has pulled him. Yuri inhales and oh god, _oh god_. She smells like freaking sunshine.

This is so unfair. Yuri closes his eyes and he starts to cry. It’s so unfair that this is the first time he’s being hugged by a mother. Not even his mother, just any mother at all. He’s been without this for fourteen years. How did he live before this moment? How is he supposed to live _after_ this moment? She just got here but Yoko is going to have to leave eventually. Yuri wrenches his hands out from between his and Yoko’s torsos and he clings to her. He hopes he’s not hurting her, but he hopes that he’s holding tight enough where she can’t leave. Not yet.

“It’s alright, Yuri,” Yoko says. “It’s all going to be alright.”

Yuri buries his face in her shirt and sobs.

After some length of time, Yuri convinces himself to loosen his grip on Yoko. He leans back and wipes his face, and mumbles an apology for crying on Yoko’s shirt.

“Don’t be sorry,” She says, cupping Yuri’s face in her hands, her thumbs wiping tears off his cheeks. “Moms are meant to be cried on.”

Yuri feels his face heat up. “But you’re not…not…my mom.”

Yoko looks sad. “I wish I could have been. I wish I could have been a mother to all of you. But I can’t change the past, I can only look to the future. That’s why I want to ask you something.”

Yuya isn’t in the room. Yuri gulps and pulls away a little. “Yuya…”

“Yuya knows,” Yoko says. “So does my husband. Yuri, I would like very much if, after the war is over, you would come to Standard and live with us. I’ve asked Yuto and Yugo as well, they’ve agreed.”

“Do they really want me there?” Yuri asks.

Yoko smiles. “Oh, honey, of course they do. I know you know that.”

Yuri certainly hopes so, but he doesn’t know so. “Why would you want to have anything to do with me?” Yuri mumbles. “I’ve been…”

“Healing?” Yoko offers.

“Horrible,” Yuri corrects.

“No,” Yoko says firmly. “You were a child who was taken advantage of. What you did, that’s not you. I don’t hold it against you, neither does Yuya. Nobody here holds it against you, really.”

Yuri wants to believe that. He really, truly does. “Yoko?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can.”

Yuri looks down. “Is it wrong for me to want to…to use the powers of Chaos and Creation to rewrite the world so none of this ever happened? I mean, part of it is so no one will ever get hurt but if I’m being honest…I mostly want it for myself. I want Akaba to be erased from history, so he never hurts me. So I have a chance to be like…like Yuya, and Yugo and Yugo.”

“I don’t think it’s wrong,” Yoko says. “I think there might be better ways to go about it than erasing Akaba from history, but I think it’s only natural for you to want that.” Yoko sighs. “To be honest, sometimes I wonder if it might be the only way for the dimensions to ever find peace.”

Yuri’s breath catches in his throat. “Do you think they’ll ever agree to it?”

Yoko hums. “I think Yuya might. I think he’s already thinking about it.”

“Yuya would be the better person to bring it up,” Yuri says. “People like him.”

“People like you, too,” Yoko says. “I like you.”

Yuri bursts into sudden tears, and Yoko hugs him again.

“I mean it,” Yoko says, patting Yuri’s back. “I like you very much.”

Yuri sobs on Yoko’s shoulder once more. He wants this so much it’s like a physical ache in the back of his throat, screaming for a way out. The rest of his life isn’t enough time to make up for what he lost, for what the entire universe lost.

There’s only one way to make up for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You don't know how much I want Yoko to love Yuri. I want her to love Yuto and Yugo too but Yuri especially needs her love.


	5. under the shape of years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but one that deserved its own space.

Yuri agrees to take the pills. Two days later, he walks out of the room he’s lived in for two months. He clings to Yuya’s hand the entire time and keeps looking over his shoulder to make sure Yuto and Yugo are still present.

There are so many people here. Yuya says hello to everyone, and everyone says hi to him, and they introduce themselves to Yuri as well. Yuri isn’t in a mindset to remember all the names being told to him.

Yuya takes Yuri to their HQ. It reminds Yuri of a movie he saw once, about a spaceship. HQ looks a lot like the command room of that ship. There are giant screens showing video feeds, charts, and deck combos. Many of the people in the room, monitoring the screens and shouting instructions, are Yuri’s age or younger. A harried looking girl rushes by, then doubles back.

“Yuri!” She says, smiling. “Hi, I’m Yuzu.”

Yuzu Hiiragi. Yuri knows her.

“I’d love to stay and chat,” she says apologetically, “But I’m basically running this place. Maybe later?”

She rushes off, and Yuri looks around in shock. “How is this possible?” He asks. He looks at the screens where there’s a duel being shown. Yuri recognizes the Academia student on the screen—she’s two years younger than Yuri. Her eyes are steely and her teeth are bared in a snarl. Yuri recognizes that look, it’s the look of one who is cornered and not going down without a fight. He’s horrified.

“How is any of this okay?!” Yuri screams. He whirls on Yuya. “Why did you bring me here?”

Yuya looks at Yuri. “Because you’re braver than I am,” he says quietly.

Yuri is about to ask what the hell that means, then someone calls out from behind Yuri.

“Excuse me, what is happening here?”

Yuri turns around. Reiji Akaba is standing a few feet away, smug and arrogant looking. A small child clings to his hand. Reira Akaba. Yuri has heard about the child, a duel soldier.

“You,” Yuri snarls. “You’re behind this?”

“The Resistance?” Reiji asks. “I am.”

Yuri shakes his hand free of Yuya’s. He stalks up to Reiji. “You think you’re any better than he is?” Yuri demands. The entire room falls silent. Good, Yuri wants this heard. “You turned children into soldiers just like he did! What’s your excuse? Where are the adults?”

“These are the best duelists,” Reiji beings coolly, but Yuri cuts him off.

“I don’t care!” He screams. “There’s no excuse for putting children in the middle of a war! Do you give a damn about the mental trauma the people on your own side are going to suffer? Even if you do defeat him, the human cost is incredible!”

“Sacrifices must be made,” Reiji says.

Yuri throws his arms out. “Did you even warn them?!” He shrieks. “Did you warn them about the nightmares, the years of therapy, the feeling of security that they would never get back?! Did you really give them a choice?” He points at Reira. “What about that child?! Do you think no one in Fusion knows what your mother did? And you allowed it? You brought a traumatized child into this war! Even in Academia people are incredulous! You disgust me! You say you’re fighting to end the war but you’re using children to do it! How does that help anything?!”

Shocked silence follows the outburst. Yuya takes Yuri’s hand.

“Well said,” Yuya whispers. “Let’s go.”

They leave. In the hallway, Yuya leans close to Yuri.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I shouldn’t have used you like that.”

“You didn’t,” Yuri says. “This is the least I could do.” He turns to Yuya. “You think I’m right?”

“I do,” Yuya says.

“And so do we,” Yugo chimes in, jogging to catch up with them, Yuto on his heels. Yugo holds out his hand. “Give me five, Yuri!”

Yuri grins and high-fives Yugo. Yuto actually ruffles Yuri’s hair.

“So, what now?” Yuri asks.

Yuya puts his arm over Yuri’s shoulders. “We wait for the fallout, and we talk to the girls.”

They wait in Yuri’s room. All four of them lean against the headboard, legs stretched out, overlapping in some cases. Yuya traces the lines in Yuri’s palm, comparing them with the ones in his own.

“I think they’re the same,” Yuya says. “We should compare our fingerprints.”

“We should compare a lot of stuff,” Yugo says, smirking. Yuto, on Yuri’s other side and farthest away from Yugo, leans across Yuri and Yuya so he can smack Yugo in the stomach.

“Yuya?” Yuri asks as Yuto leans back and Yugo doubles over, “Does your mom know about…the three of you?”

“She does,” Yuya confirms.

“And she’s okay with it?” Yuri asks. “But she told me you’re all going to live together.”

“Yeah, there will be some rules,” Yuto says, “But she doesn’t think it’s weird or anything.”

“Do you think it’s weird?” Yuya asks.

Yuri shrugs. “I don’t know. Do you…do I have to—”

“Stop right there,” Yugo wheezes, “You don’t _have_ to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Yeah,” Yuya says, “And you don’t have to make a decision about anything right now.”

“But what if…” Yuri starts, and Yuya shakes his head.

“Listen very carefully,” Yuya says, “Anything you want, we’ll be okay with.”

“I didn’t even say anything yet,” Yuri says.

“Doesn’t matter,” Yuto says. “Yuri, you know we love you, right?”

Yuri gulps. Actually, he does know that. He’s known it from the moment the four of them were all gathered together in the same room. Yuri is loved.

“I just don’t want to hurt anyone,” Yuri says.

Yuto holds out his hand and Yuri takes it. “We won’t be hurt,” Yuto says. “We’re soulmates. We have a bond that can’t be put in words. We’re already close spiritually. Anything else is just icing on the cake.”

Yuri feels some tension melt away, and he manages to smile. Before anyone can say anything else, the door opens and four girls file into the room, lead by Serena.

“Heard you blew up on Reiji,” Serena says to Yuri.

“Nothing he didn’t have coming to him,” Yuri says.

Serena vaults onto the bed, landing on Yuri’s feet (and totally unapologetic about it). “Yeah well, what was the point of it?”

Yuri looks at Yuya. Yuya takes a deep breath and says, “We want to talk to you guys about changing the world. All the worlds.”

 

Planning takes several weeks. There are years of wrongs to be righted, that kind of thing can’t be planned in one day. They all have things they want, not all of which can be made possible. There are things they all agree on, things they disagree on, things they fight about, and things they cry over. For days on end all eight of them plan, eat, and sleep in the same room—the room Yuri has lived in for months. Sometimes there’s nine of them when Shun joins, sometimes ten or eleven when Yoko, Yusho and/or Shuzo Hiiragi come to see how they’re doing. It’s kind of ironic, Yuri once saw this room as the place where his world ended, now it may very well be the place where the world begins again.

Finally, they have a solid plan. If the plan ends up working out the way they want it to in reality, well, that’s something they’re not too sure about. They are gods, but they are young gods, and there’s no guarantee that this will go the way they want it to, but they’ve got to try. They’ve been given these powers for a reason, it’s time to use what they’ve been given.

The eight of them sit in a circle on the familiar bed. They hold hands, and close their eyes.

“Ready?” Serena asks.

“Ready,” they all answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps I'm alone here but I honestly have no patience for Reiji Akaba. Or any Akaba that isn't Reira.
> 
> Next up, the ending we all deserve!


	6. rewrite this pain

“Incarnations of chaos shouldn’t have to attend high school,” Yuri says through a mouthful of toothpaste.

Yuya grins at him in the mirror. “It’s literally the second day.”

Yuri spits out the foam and stands up. “And I’m already done.”

There’s a banging on the door. “Hurry up in there!” Sora screams.

Yuya and Yuri roll their eyes, but they wrap up and leave so Sora can dart in. Yuri pauses on his way downstairs to give En a pat on the head, and when he stands up he damn near takes Yugo out.

“Watch it,” Yuri demands.

“You watch it!” Yugo retorts, poking Yuri in the ribs.

Yuto is already dressed, cleaned up, and has his backpack on. Yoko is tapping her foot waiting for them.

“Sora, why are you always last?” Yoko calls teasingly.

“Because my brothers hog the bathrooms,” Sora yells back.

Yuri shoves his lunch into his backpack—rice and vegetables. He remembers in another life, it was one of the first meals he had upon being kidnapped by the Resistance.

Yuri doesn’t remember everything from his past lives. He knows what he is because his dragon told him about it. Starve Venom said that as Yuri got older, as they all got older, they would remember more. He does remember the day the eight of them—the incarnations of Chaos and Creation—decided to rewrite fate and change their worlds.

He remembers that Yuya insisted Sora end up a member of the Sakaki family. He remembers that Yuzu promised Ruri that Shun would love being part of the Hiiragi family. He remembers when Serena said that Akaba Leo deserved a second chance.

In the car on the way to school (Yuto helps Sora with his tie in the car), they get a lovely view of LDS tower. Highlights from the last city-wide tournament are playing on a huge screen, showing Yuzu squaring off against a girl named Masumi, and Yuri smiles as he watches Yuzu win the tournament.

“Going to enter this year?” Yuri asks, elbowing Yuya.

Yuya shrugs. “Do I need to? I pioneered pendulum summoning, I teach classes…” he lowers his voice, “I helped save the world.”

Yuri grins and holds out his hand. Yuya laces their fingers together and squeezes gently.

In this world, the four dimensions are still divided, but people are able to travel between them. Yusho and Yoko traveled between the dimensions many years ago, and they found four boys that they fell in love with and adopted all of them. Yuri was four when he became a member of the Sakaki family, and finally got the upbringing he so desperately wanted.

Yoko, Yusho, and Sora all know what Yuri, Yuya, Yuto, and Yugo are. Yoko and Yusho knew about it when they started the adoption process, Yuya and Odd-Eyes found the other incarnations of Chaos, and Yoko and Yusho were determined to raise their son with his soulmates. Sora came to them five years ago as a foster child, and he was adopted two years ago.

The Sakaki family also know that Yuya, Yuri, Yuto, and Yugo have a relationship that transcends traditional relationships. They attend high school, they navigate their social and academic lives, and they watch movies with their family like normal teenagers do. But they are millennia old spirits, who have seen many things, and the one constant in their many lives is each other. The four of them will always be together, they will always find each other.

And, of course, they will always find the incarnations of Creation.

Yoko drops the four of them off at the high school and drives Sora to middle school, and as soon as they enter the cafeteria, Yuri is accosted by Serena.

“Dear god, what is it, woman?” Yuri groans as Serena hangs off his neck.

“Your math notes,” she pleads, “I need your math notes!”

Yuri shakes himself free of her and makes a dash for the table, sandwiching himself between Ruri and Shun. “You can have them if you stop whining,” he says.

Serena throws herself across the table, hands folded in front of her. “Can I keep them until third period? Please, please, please! Hokuto swears we’ve got a quiz today and I have no idea what I’m doing!”

“Alright, fine,” Yuri grumbles, handing his notes over.

Yuzu looks up from the braid she’s trying to put in Rin’s hair. “It’s her own fault,” she says, nodding at Serena as she flips through Yuri’s notes. “She was playing Pokémon Go in math yesterday.”

“But I got a Chikorita!” Serena says.

They all laugh at that, then continue with casual conversation until the bell rings, and they hurry off to their classes. Yuya squeezes Yuri’s hand and manages to land a kiss on his cheek before they go their separate ways.

 

Sometimes Yuri wakes up and isn’t sure which life he’s in. Is it the one where everything is so terribly wrong, or is it the one where he actually has a chance? When that happens, he usually screams for his mother, and when she comes running, he knows he’s in the life where things go right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending we probably won't get but DANG IT IT'S THE ONE WE DESERVE


End file.
